Why is it that everytime a young girl, teenage girl, or grown woman are in a fight/ disagreement/arguement with another girl/teen/woman it's over a guy????
Think about it...women don't really argue about anything else. It's always "She stole my boyfriend" (or even worse, husband!), or there's an ex-girlfriend that you can't stand, or you and your best friend like the same guy so now you're mad at eachother, some girl keeps staring at your boyfriend/husband. Not saying that these things are always pointless disagreements, becaue there are some women out there who will go for men that are unavailable. But so many times I've seen women get mad at other women and not at the man that is also involved in the situation. If your boyfriend cheats, then damn right you have the right to be mad at the other woman, but don't act like he was a victim and stay with him but hold an everlasting grudge on the other woman. Don't ruin a great friendship over a guy who will most likely break up with you eventually, then you'll have no best friend AND no boyfriend! If that's the case, it should be true love, and it should be absolutely worth the consequences (in the long run).
I feel like men (even as little boys and teenagers) have a much greater solidarity amongst each other than women do. They're more about brotherhood, and they're more loyal to their friends (not all, but most). If women could be like that, they would rule the world!!! seriously. So ladies, don't let a relationship (or lack of) with a guy determine your self worth. Love yourselves, love your sisters!
I'm not sure if that is the only reason women fight with one another. It is a very common bout in the media though.
ReplyDeleteThis does fall back into the Tannen: private and public talk. Women still have issues with other women just like guys have issues with guys. It just that guy are comfortable about bringing it up in the open more than women who just keeps the issue to themselves or tries not to get angry about it. So the problem is left unnoticed and leads to passives retaliation. To me, that is just wrong and I don't see why women don't confront the issue more to prevent such actions.
I think since a man is involved in the argument, women get a feeling they have the right to be just as open about it as the men so that the man is also aware of her displeasure as well as the other women.
I think woman fight with woman for a lot of reasons, but to focus on arguments about men i agree with "Xe". The private/public talk between men and woman influences the woman to keep such emotions hidden that accumulate. A theory of why woman do this is because of social influence, they go with the stereotype that they are suppose to be reserve of such things. My understanding of why woman fight for men is because the good ones are hard to find, and if they get the chance to meet one, they refuse to let him slip away.
ReplyDeleteI so agree about men having more of a solid friendship than women. My boyfriend went to Bosco High School and till now he always hangs out with his "Bosco Buddies". I get sooo jealous because i dont have anyone to hang out with. I wish i had friends like he does. Girls always end up doing me dirty or talking behind my back. I dont get it! I consider myself to be a true friend but yet i cant find girls to correspond the same. I wish i had solid friends like he does =(
ReplyDeleteI think all of you have very valid points. It is expected of women to keep their feelings internal. But I also do think that jealousy is a very common disease (as I like to call it) among women. Which I believe fuels the fire a little bit. But I definitely know that not all wome are like that. "Faith" I agree with you, I have experienced every bad friend in the book! But I feel blessed to say that I've FINALLY found a group of great women who are solid friends and I can be myself with them no matter what. With every bad experience comes a lesson, so just take those people who've done you wrong as a lesson learned and beware of people who behave like them. You'll find great friends if you keep that in mind. good luck! =)
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